EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my
attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got
to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....
"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology,
in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."