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Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao

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zabac_kermit
Žabac Kermit
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icon Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao22.04.2004. u 21:42 - pre 214 meseci
Obično ne kapiram njihov smisao za humor,ali ovaj me je baš zasmejao.


Quick Joke
One day, in a small town in the middle of no-where, a redneck wearing nothing but jeans and suspenders was pumping gas into his pinto at the local gas station. To his surprise, a rich man in a Ferrari pulled up next to him to pump gas into his $600,000 car. As the rich man was pumping gas he looked over at the bewildered redneck. Noticing the admiration on his face the rich man asked, in a cocky tone, "what, you wanna race farm boy?" Not one to back down to a challenge the redneck replied in a defiant tone "I sure do city boy!"

Shortly after that, the two men had there cars lined up on a super long stretch of straight road. The two men were standing in between the two cars discussing how to insure a fair start.

They finally concluded that the rich man would hold up 3 fingers and do a count down. When the last finger dropped they would go for it. So the rich man opened his door and stepped into his car, then the redneck walked around to the door of his car and climbed in.

The rich man started the count down and when the last finger fell they took off.

The rich man decided to toy with the redneck and only shift up to second gear, but by the time he got to full speed in second gear the pinto was just a dot in his rear view mirror. "What a waste of time." the rich man thought.

suddenly, RRRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!!! The pinto went roaring by.

"Whoa!" the rich man said. So then he shifted up into 3rd then 4th gear to still give the redneck a sporting chance. Once again the pinto became a dot in his rear view mirror.

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! To the rich man's surprise the pinto went flying by again!

"FINE!" The rich man shouted. So then he went all out, shifting up into 6th gear and putting the pedal to the floor. By now the Ferrari was doing about 210 Mph. The Ferrari blew by the pinto and once again the pinto became a tiny speck in his rear view.

RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!! The pinto blew by him again, practically blowing the Ferrari's doors off.

Having been beaten by the pinto the rich man pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. In a rage he got out and slammed his door as the redneck backed up next to his car.

"WHAT KIND OF MOTOR DO YOU HAVE IN THAT PINTO!" Shouted the rich man.

The redneck climbed out of his Pinto shaking like a nervous Chihuahua and replied, "I have no idea, BUT I GOT MY SUSPENDERS CAUGHT IN YOUR DOOR!!"

Izvor:http://www.ebaumsworld.com/index2.shtml

Poz.
Neka tvoje besede budu odmerene na kantaru da bi bile korisne onima koji će ih čuti.
 
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zabac_kermit
Žabac Kermit
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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao22.04.2004. u 22:24 - pre 214 meseci
I ovaj nije loš.

Quick Joke
Two new members of a hunting lodge get introduced to its oldest member. They ask him to tell his favorite hunting story, and he agrees.

“Well, back in 1944 in Africa,” the old man starts, “we went big-game hunting. Didn’t have much luck at first, but on the third day I was resting by a tree when I heard a noise. Next thing I know the biggest lion I’ve ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this…RO-A-A-R-R-R! Well, I just shit my pants.”

The young men are amazed. One of them says, “I don’t blame you. I’d crap my pants too if a lion jumped at me like that!”

The old man shakes his head and says, “No, no, not then—just now when I said roar!”

Poz.
Neka tvoje besede budu odmerene na kantaru da bi bile korisne onima koji će ih čuti.
 
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pctel
Beograd

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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao22.04.2004. u 22:39 - pre 214 meseci
Ovaj je mnogo star, ali je jedini vredan da se pamti tako dugo:

The bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is fixed when she hears one of the men say,

"Emma comme first. Den I come. Two asses, they comme together. I comme again. Two asses, they comme together again. I comme again and pee twice. Then I comme once-a-more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "I'ma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
Samo ti sinko (administratore) radi svoj posao.
 
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srki
Srdjan Mitrovic
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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao22.04.2004. u 23:07 - pre 214 meseci
http://blog.gojko.co.yu/item/18/
 
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smrda

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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao24.04.2004. u 09:24 - pre 214 meseci
Oavj sam skoro dobio na mail:

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him:
- Daddy, what's Sex?
"OK" he thinks, this day was bound to come, and I am not going to let my little princess learn about Sex from the streets. So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet dreams.
Then she asks:
- Daddy what is "a couple"?
And he carries on: a couple are the two people involved in the sex, but this can be two males also, where they penetrate from the ass, or 2 females called lesbians..and goes on to describe masturbation, oral sex, group sex, pornography, bondage and rape, pedophilia, sex toys etc... The father finally asks:
- So why did you want to know about "a couple" and "Sex"?
- Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..


 
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zabac_kermit
Žabac Kermit
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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao24.05.2004. u 00:23 - pre 213 meseci
Evo još dva komada:
1.
An older man goes to the Doctor in desire of a prescription for Viagra. The Doctor looks over the man, and says, "Viagra can be very dangerous and we do not just dispense it indiscriminately, Please bring your wife to my office next week and we'll discuss this in more detail. So the following week he shows up with his wife. The Doctor asks to see the wife by herself for a few moments and she follows him back to the examining room. The doctor asks her to disrobe and she does. He then asks her to turn around in 360 degrees a few times then instructs her to get up on the examining table and to turn in various positions. He then tells her she can get dressed and goes out to meet the Male Patient. "Sir," The Doctor Says, "There is nothing wrong with you, I couldn't get an erection either.

2.
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Poz.
Neka tvoje besede budu odmerene na kantaru da bi bile korisne onima koji će ih čuti.
 
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rebekic
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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao02.06.2008. u 12:48 - pre 164 meseci
evo malo rasistickih:)

What do you call a black woman that had an abortion.........CRIMESTOPPER
What do you call a black man running down the street........A THIEF
 
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CandyMan

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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao02.06.2008. u 15:02 - pre 164 meseci
Pajtonovci, jedan od mojih omiljenih

American beer is like having sex in a canoe.... it's so f.cking close to water!


Nisam ni znao da znam dok nisam prob'o!
 
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barakuda111

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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao02.06.2008. u 15:30 - pre 164 meseci
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEW56_QRjN8

Mislim da su uradili 15 komada do sada, uzivajte :)
Ljubav, mir & sir
 
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Beltrammi

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icon Re: Prvi vic na engleskom koji me je zasmejao02.06.2008. u 15:40 - pre 164 meseci
"Quick Joke" ?

A4 format smarajuceg teksta, bez korisne pouke !
 
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